It can be tiring and overwhelming for people with cancer to repeatedly tell people about their cancer.

It can help to have someone else communicate with others. This lets the person with cancer focus on treatment, recovery, and other things that are important to them.

Family and friends may be curious and concerned. They may want frequent updates. Don’t put pressure on yourself to provide updates every time something happens.

This is especially true during a medical emergency, time of crisis, or if you’re the primary caregiver.

Give yourself time and space. Share the news when you are ready.

Remember that everyone copes with news in their own way. Some people have trouble accepting or understanding what is happening.

You don’t have to provide emotional support to everyone you update.

If you are a primary caregiver, consider asking a trusted family member or friend to share updates. Let people know how frequently they can expect to be updated (i.e., once a week or once a month).

Cancer Support Community’s MyLifeline makes sharing updates easier. Through MyLifeLine, your loved one can create a private website, shared with a select group of people.

Here, they (or someone else of their choosing) can post updates for the group, instead of individually texting or calling everyone. For more information, visit www.MyLifeLine.org.

Ask your loved one what information is okay to share and with whom. Don’t share updates unless your loved one agrees. This applies to even family and their closest friends.

You may find that your loved one wants their information kept private while you want to share. In this case, it can help to speak to a counselor. They can keep details of your loved one’s health confidential while listening and supporting you.

Special Considerations for Talking With Children and Teens

Adults are often scared to tell children about a cancer diagnosis. We all want the children we love to be happy. It’s hard to talk to them about something that will make them—and us— upset.

Try the following:

• Answer their questions honestly.
• Don’t make promises that you can’t keep.
• Use clear language that your child can understand. Don’t be afraid to use the word cancer.
• Let younger children know that they didn’t cause the cancer, and they can’t catch it.
• Let children know it is okay to feel sad, mad, scared, or confused.
• Let them know about expected changes in their routines.
• Let them know about any expected changes in your loved one’s appearance or behavior (hair loss, fatigue).
• Give children small, age-appropriate tasks so they can feel involved and helpful.
• Don’t force information. Answer questions as they come up.
• It is okay to let your children see you cry.

For more information on talking to children about cancer, check out CSC’s website: www.CancerSupportCommunity.org/ talking-kids-teens-about-cancer.

Cancer Support Community Resources

The Cancer Support Community’s (CSC) resources and programs are available free of charge. To access any of these resources call the Cancer Support Helpline below or visit http://www.CancerSupportCommunity.org/.

Cancer Support Helpline®—Have questions, concerns or looking for resources? Call CSC’s toll-free Cancer Support Helpline (888-793-9355), available in 200 languages Mon-Fri 9am-9pm ET and Sat-Sun 9am–5pm ET.

Open to Options®—Preparing for your next appointment? Our trained specialists can help you create a list of questions to share with your doctor. Make an appointment by calling 888-793-9355 or by contacting your local CSC or Gilda’s Club.

Frankly Speaking About Cancer®—Trusted information for cancer patients and their loved ones is available through publications, online, and in-person programs. http://www.CancerSupportCommunity.org/Get-Educated-Inspired.

Services at Local CSCs and Gilda’s Clubs—With the help of 170 locations, CSC and Gilda’s Club affiliates provide services free of charge to people touched by cancer. Attend support groups, educational sessions, wellness programs, and more at a location near you. http://www.CancerSupportCommunity.org/FindLocation.

MyLifeLine—CSC’s private, online community allows patients and caregivers to easily connect with friends and family to receive social, emotional, and practical support throughout the cancer journey and beyond.

Sign up at http://www.MyLifeLine.org/.

The Cancer Policy Institute’s (CPI) Grassroots Network—Become a part of a network of cancer advocates working to help improve the lives of cancer patients, survivors, and their loved ones.

Get up-to-date information on key issues that are important to the cancer community and opportunities to make your voice heard by U.S. policymakers on issues that affect people impacted by cancer.

As a Grassroots Network member you will also receive a monthly CPI newsletter, full of important information about current issues impacting patients, advocacy stories, upcoming events, resources, and more.

Sign up at http://www.CancerSupportCommunity.org/Become-Advocate.

Cancer Experience Registry®—Help others by sharing your cancer patient or cancer caregiver experience via survey at http://www.CancerExperienceRegistry.org/.

The Cancer Support Community provides this information as a service. This publication is not intended to take the place of medical care or the advice of your doctor.

We strongly suggest consulting your doctor or other health care professionals to answer questions and learn more.